on choosing a path

what choosing a path may really mean, and that it's okay to change our minds (even when we're afraid of rejection)

Welcome to the sixth issue of Slice of Life — a newsletter about life lessons in anime.

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I don’t remember having a dream job as a kid. But it wasn’t along the lines of being a business person. But that was what I told my dad, who is one, when he asked. I think I just wanted to make him proud. But maybe it wasn’t about the job. Maybe it was about the feeling of being approved.

As I grew older, I rarely talk about my career aspirations. Many assumed I’d eventually help with the family business. Their logic was simple: the path is already paved, the foundation set, so why choose hardship and dig a new one? I knew how much my parents sacrificed for me and my siblings, so it seemed natural and the right thing to do by helping them with their business. But there was a quiet resistance in me. A “no” that I didn’t yet know how to honour. Maybe that was why I felt hesitant to speak up about my potential aspirations, for fear of being rejected, abandoned, or unloved.

In the latest season three of Mob Psycho 100, our sweetest main character, eight-grader Kageyama Shigeo “Mob” faces a bit of a similar dilemma at work.

Mob offers reassurance for his much older colleague Serizawa Katsuya when Katsuya laments that he hasn’t achieved anything significant in his life. When it comes to him, Mob spirals. He couldn’t summon the same confidence for himself. He’s afraid if he chooses the “wrong” path, he might come to regret it forever.

Mob’s homeroom teacher suggests he travels to find out his interests. Ecstatic, he tells his work manager, Reigen that he plans to leave after graduation. The eight-grader is afraid that staying might limit his life options. Reigen might seem like a sleazy con-artist, but he surprises Mob by being supportive of his decision. He shares the story of how he started his business (a dodgy psychic service agency): It started not out of passion, but out of boredom with his corporate job. It might have started out of the whim, but it slowly became something he was passionate about (conning people lol).

Read the bottom subtitle.

Read the bottom subtitle.

Reigen’s encouragement is simple: The things you want to do doesn’t have to be a job. Just live the way you want it to be.

There’s no pressure in choosing a path, because paths aren’t fixed and there can be more than one path. We’re free to do what we want. We can just enjoy things. Even if we’re on a career path, it shouldn’t stop us from taking little detours along the way. With this, it takes some pressure of forcing ourselves to fit into a path.

Despite his questionable morals, even a person like Reigen could hold space for someone’s uncertainty in life. He does not force his strict ideals or a default narrative onto Mob. He’s just there for him providing him the reassurance that things aren’t as dire as they seem. My parents never directly impose a path onto me, but their expectations were obvious enough. I took those unspoken hints to heart and tucked my desires away, daring not to open the can of worms. What I feared wasn’t only about choosing the “wrong” path—it was also the rejection that might come with it.

My fear surfaced when I half-jokingly told my parents I wanted to study graphic design. A simple but a curt rejection from my dad hit harder than expected. It almost felt like an insult, a rejection of who I was or who I wanted to be. I don’t remember what came after, only how deeply that moment sank in and carried through many years into my adulthood. In the end, my fear of further rejection led me to choose the safest route in finance (which I later switched to marketing, but that’s for another story). From then on, I did what would only bring the least confrontation. The least disappointment. But the quiet resistance still persisted in me.

It’s strange that teenagers are expected to pick a path by the end of high school, like it’s a be-all and end-all that will dictate the rest of your life. Some might have an idea, though I doubt most of us do. I don’t think it’s fair to place a huge burden on them when they’re still navigating puberty and figure out themselves out. Valorizing specific degrees adds to the confusion when we aren’t able to choose what speaks more to us.

Now in my 30s, I’m still changing my path again. And I doubt I’m the only one going through this. That’s the thing that no one tells us. We can change our mind, again and again, if needed. Maybe the narrative should have been to choose a path, but not the path that we must stick to for the rest of our lives.

I told my younger cousin something similar recently. I told her she could always change her mind even after she graduated. And she could still continue to work on her other passions at the side. She was more convinced and relieved when I told her about the people I knew: lawyers who ended up in fashion, or computer science majors working in marketing. Everyone is still figuring things out.

Looking back, maybe what I needed wasn’t someone like Reigen, I just needed someone to sit with me through the process. Not with answers, just with presence and empathy.

I used to carry a lot of bitterness about not being seen and supported. These days I try to be that person who supports others going through the same uncertainty. I take myself less seriously and think of life as a series of side quests instead, following my curiosities to see where they lead. Or it might not lead to anywhere, as long as it makes me feel more alive.

I still don’t know where my “path” might lead me. I try to worry a little less, embracing the okayness. And I try to follow what brings me joy, and live out the paths that I didn’t or couldn’t take when I was younger.

And when I can, I also try to be that supportive person for myself too.

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Warmest regards,
Yihui